"–you know, I’ve either had a family, a job,
something has always been in the
way
but now
I’ve sold my house, I’ve found this
place, a large studio, you should see the space and
the light.
for the first time in my life I’m going to have
a place and the time to
create."no baby, if you’re going to create
you’re going to create whether you work
16 hours a day in a coal mine
or
you’re going to create in a small room with 3 children
while you’re on
welfare,
you’re going to create with part of your mind and your body blown
away,
you’re going to create blind
crippled
demented,
you’re going to create with a cat crawling up your
back while
the whole city trembles in earthquake, bombardment,
flood and fire.baby, air and light and time and space
have nothing to do with it
and don’t create anything
except maybe a longer life to find
new excuses
for.© Charles Bukowski; air and light and time and space; 1992
This poem carried me through some of my most intense years in my early 20s. It has been a constant in my head ever since1. A sort of mantra this “no baby, if you’re going to create…” that I wanted to share.
By “create”, I interpret it in a broad sense: anything you bring to life that wasn’t there before. From writing an essay to starting a business, all that is creating.
In a deeper sense, it speaks about the tension I often think about: the strive to achieve our highest potential, no matter the circumstance and sometimes at the expense of the present moment. Or, is creating the most present you can be? It certainly feels so at times.
It pays to remember that. So, I slightly modified the poem as a past and future reminder, making it even closer to my heart:
"–you know, I’ve either had a partner, a job,
something has always been in the
way
but now
I’ve left my home, I’ve found this
place, a large apartment, you should see the space and
the light.
for the first time in my life I’m going to have
a place and the time to
create."no baby, if you’re going to create
you’re going to create whether you work
16 hours a day in a job you hate
or
you’re going to create in a small room with 13 roommates
while you’re on
deep debt,
you’re going to create with an impending depression over your
head,
you’re going to create sleepless,
ignored,
demented,
you’re going to create on a shattered laptop and with a failing
business while
the whole city trembles in earthquake, acid rain,
fire and crime.baby, air and light and time and space
have nothing to do with it
and don’t create anything
except maybe a longer life to find
new excuses
for.
Update.
In the last weeks, most of my creative juices have been sucked by a microfilm I’m developing. I will share it before the year ends. For now, I can already say it’s been an amazing experience of learning by doing.
Un abrazo,
Oscar
Random bonus: two guys I consider to be extremely free, extremely themselves recently published new unclassifiable material, via The Curse and this video, respectively.
Probably also in the head of the person that has maintained this website for at least 10 years. Would love to meet.
I really like that poem. It’s so true. This last year I’ve never been more busy or more stressed in my life and yet I’ve also written the most I ever have.
And now that I publish biweekly instead of weekly I’m finding that I don’t publish content that is twice as good. I just spend them extra time doing other stuff that’s not as important...
Can’t wait to see the film!
Oscar! I'm glad you are doing the microfilm. You are doing it man! Excited to see what you learn and how you feel once the project is all done.